Monday, May 4, 2009

I am smrt!

So I think I must just have a stupid face.
About two years ago, My sister and I went into an RC Willey to look at Mp3 players. There were salesmen everywhere. I'm not a huge fan of salesmen. I'm kinda a sucker, and they always convince me to buy whatever useless item their selling.
"It toasts bread, scrambles eggs, and ties your shoes for you in the morning. As long as you get up between the hours of 3 and 5. Sunlight bothers it, you see. But it comes with a free sticker!"
"WOW! I'll get it!"
I still have the free sticker.
Anyway, while we were in RC Willey, a kindly old gentleman approached us and asked, very kindly, if he could help.
"I'm looking for an Mp3 player or, you know, some sort of music playing device." I giggled, somewhat nervous talking to a salesman, lest he pull out the garlic press/potato peeler they had been trying to get off the shelves for weeks because some smart guy remembered that they don't sell kitchen utensils. He smiled amiably and bent down to see me eye to eye.
"Well now, device is a big word, isn't it?"
I stood there for a minute before my brain jumped at the chance.
"No, patronizing is a big word."
I was so proud of myself for being clever. Not that the line was original, it was a Terry Pratchett line from Wee Free Men. But I had used it right. And I didn't even offend the old man, he just sort of gave a kind smile and led me to the devices of which I had inquired.
I had forgotten about that particular incident until today.
We had a meeting at work where they gathered us all, sat us down and told us very sternly the dangers of the new pandemic swine flu. Swine flu sounds like it should be a musical. Anyway, they demonstrated three times, three times! how to apply hand sanitizer because 'it's very important to make sure that our hands are clean.' no kidding.
My friends and I made jokes throughout the rest of the day, stopping at every sanitizer post they had placed at every door, and looking at it stupidly saying
"Gee, I wonder how we use this?"
They weren't particularly funny jokes, but they had to be made. Kinda like the witty 'What's up?' antidote of "That way!"
I guess I just dislike being talked down to.


  1. Ha Ha Ha, Sarah, you're hilarious!

  2. That's a once in a lifetime moment, that was, and I bow before your genius and wit. Hail the Pratchett! As for the swine flu... I'm waiting to panic until they bring out the Cockroach Flu. Then I'll use the hand sanitizer. (today they sent out an email saying that, though the university may have a pandemic, finals will continue on schedule. Lame)

  3. First off, Swine flu is ridiculously blown out of proportion. 2nd, we had something like that happen in our work too. We often have to go through alot of papers, and so we use something called Sortqwik! It's this stuff you put on your fingers to sort papers qwik. I'm sure some of you have used it before, but we always joke around with each other "Ok, now how do we use this stuff?" because it's painfully obvious how to use it. You rub your finger on it. The end. I asked my supervisor once "Ok, now how do I use this?" And she took me seriously. "Here let me show you." It took a lot of effort to keep from laughing.
    Anyway, love your blog Sarah!

  4. What's really funny is when you demonstrate three times how to put on hand sanitizer and half of the people still do it incorrectly.

    I hate it that I have to take off my shoes every time I use this stuff!

  5. Now I know why my floors smell like alcohol.

  6. Funny story, Sar. You're very witty.

  7. I make sure to get between the toes

  8. Whaddaya mean saying 'That way!' isn't a funny reply to 'What's Up?' I happen to think it's HILARIOUS!!!!! This is why I have kept repeating it for the past 12 years. Just because you don't have the superior intellect and depth of knowledge required to fully appreciate the subtle wit and multi-leveled humor of this comment dosn't mean that it isn't funny! Philistine!