Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I'm a gangster!

so I bought new shoes.
My old ones were falling apart, sad to say. They had an ancient Chinese charm on them and everything! But, alas, the Chinese are not as reliable as they once were. I think it has something to do with their sweat shops.
Anyway, I got new shoes, and they are gangster! They make me feel on the edge! Like hanging out with my home-ies, and shupe-dogging the town and listening to p-diddy and mos def all day. Which is weird, because I don't know how to shupe-dogg.
Gangsters use a lot of hyphons.
Anyway, The shoes are too big, so I considered stuffing the toes with something. But everything gangster-ish that came to mind wouldn't work. Dollar bills are a waste, crack is illegal, and brass knuckles are just uncomfortable. I guess I'll have to live with the clunking.
So I was studying my way cool, super bad foot wear and noticed that the gold filgeree (not real gold, sadly) was actually a collage of pictures. There were chains and thorn vines, lip outlines, skulls, some sort of gangster sign and then--
There it was!
Jammed between a star and the sillouette of an ice cream cone was...
An apple with a smily face in the center.
It was like these shoes had been made for me. It was like the guy at the shoe-making factory looked at this particular pair of shoes and said to himself,
"This pair is different!" And then crossing himself, as all good catholic shoemakers do, said "I should mark it. Something brilliant! something meaningful!"
And then the light bulb above his head goes off and he bends down to add little golden apples with bright shining smilies in their center.
Thank you my dear catholic shoemaker!

I have the best shoes ever!