Friday, June 26, 2009

I wanna hold your haaaaaaand!

I remember writing a personal essay once for a class in high school, and it occurred to me after three years, why mt teacher told me it wasn't what she was looking for. I couldn't find the essay, so if it isn't written like a proper essay, that's why. I'm writing off the cuff, but it went something like this:

I have never been a romantic person. I'm the kind who pretends to gag at the cheesy love scenes in movies. So therefore it is not surprising when I say that the opposite sex has never taken many liberties with me. I have been grateful for this. And slightly disappointed. I am a girl, after all. It was only within the past year that I have been encouraging the sort of behavior normal teenage girl would promote in males of the same age. It has been a miserable attempt.
I reaped the results of my efforts about a week ago when I went to a get together held by a friend. It could even be called a shindig. We watched a movie, I remember vividly what movie it was, but for the sake of discretion I will say it was An Affair to Remember. (at least, that movie is a lot more romantic than the one we actually watched. I do think this sort of thing should happen in a romantic movie. Please excuse the fact that no group of high school teens would watch An Affair to Remember on their own accord)
Anyway, among the invited were two of my friends whom I shall call, "Marcus" and "Ben". Marcus was a a friend I had had since junior high, and we had always been very close. Ben was one of the poor fools I had attempted my feminine wiles upon. Both of them sat next to me during the movie. It was fairly enjoyable, I was snickering cynically.
I was just about to remark on Cary Grants methods of wooing, when I felt a poke. Someone was poking my right leg. And then a pinkie curled around mine, and before I knew it, Ben had clasped my hand and was holding it awkwardly. It was very uncomfortable, especially since I had blushed to the roots of my hair, and the room was already hot. I was debating what to do when Marcus, on my other side, took a daring move and held my other hand.
"..." I thought.
I think they were both wondering what my reaction was, because they looked at me right at the same time, and ended up looking at each other, because I was sunk so low in my seat they could see straight over me.
They looked at each other.
They looked at my hands.
And then Marcus, who has always been very good humored, started to laugh.
Then they both laughed.
Then the whole room laughed, because they all saw what was going on.
I wanted to weep and then die.
Being stupid high school boys, they milked all they could out of it. They both kissed me on the cheeks at the same time. I wanted to duck and have them kiss each other like in the cartoons. That'd serve them right. But I was frozen to the spot.

I forgot how I ended the essay, but I'm sure it was some moving analogy on karma or something. I'm sure it was brilliant. Anyway, I wanted to share it so that all of you who know me will nod and say "Oh! That's why she is the way she is." It scarred me for life, I can tell you.


  1. Hahahaha. You totally should've ducked. :D

  2. "I'm sure it was brilliant." Seriously.

  3. Those Jerks! Who do I need to "visit"?

  4. I can't believe I've never heard of this!