Sooo... I shouldn't feel happy about this, but I kinda do.
About a year ago, I was in a play labeled, The Sound of Music. Maybe you've heard of it. I played a nun. fairly popular part. We had seven Von Trapp children, a Von Trapp father, one governess, one baroness, one friend, three germans, and twenty seven nuns. Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, we could have a nun football team if we wanted. ...what a disturbing thought...Anyway, This didn't hurt my pride. I have been in the chorus several times. But I could sing. I know I can sing.
Dear reader the truth is, I'm somewhat proud of the fact that I can keep pitch better than most. It's the only thing I can do.
Anyway, I would have liked one of the fussy nuns at the beginning. Maybe the one who said 'A Clown!' I could do that like nobody's business. Anyway, when it came to picking the fussy nuns, the director had all twenty seven of us stand up and the said, 'you, you, you and you. the rest of you sit down.' and that was it. I didn't have a chance. I could've had that clown nun! but nazi director only wanted blond hair and blue eyes! two of them couldn't sing. I don't say this to gratify myself, no. One of them she had sing the part over and over again until finally she said, 'okay, just say it to the rhythm' and she couldn't even do that. Things just went downhill from there. She accredited all the really low singing I did to the person next to me, who wasn't even singing the same part. She talked for hours on the things we could and couldn't do, including chew gum, tie our shoes, and laugh. And then, to top it all, she had a fourteen hour rehearsal. FOURTEEN HOURS!!!!!!! There were children in the cast. If we wanted food, we had to call someone, drag them from what they were doing, and have them bring it to us to eat in the lobby. And if we missed a cue, heaven help us.
Needless to say, I quit. I told her I had a better offer, which wasn't true, and I left.
Two days after, a friend from the cast told me the part I sang fell apart, and that no one could do the choreography right, because they all followed me. I felt good. And then I felt better because the theatre, thinking I was never coming back apologized to me for the director. Apparently they had to do that a lot.
My point? (sorry I took so long to get to it, I sort of get carried away when I vent)
This director is now in jail. They sent me an e-mail telling me she needs bail. (not just me, but everyone she's ever worked with) hah! good luck with that. I kinda want the mug shot so I can hand it on my refrigerator.
Am I mean? Cruel? Thoughtless? Maybe. But it's all worth it with the laugh I gave when I heard the news.
How do you solve a problem like this director?
I promise my next blog will be less angry.